I spent so much of my pregnancy worrying whether I had enough love to give a new baby, I love Pops so much and it was just us 2 (and MM) for so long that I wasn’t really sure if there would be any room for someone else.
I wouldn’t say R has fitted in perfectly or all those other cliche things people say because the truth is that it has been hard. It has been challenging, tiring and so stressful. It has been more work than I ever imagined it would be having 2 kids under 5.
BUT it has also been loving, and special and incredible. It has felt right, like she was always meant to be here and all the hard days (and there have been MANY) were all worth it.
Adjusting to becoming a mum of 2 was hard for me. I struggled to balance my time between them both and Pops did lose out a lot because I was trying to breastfeed and when I wasn’t I was just so tired I wanted to just sleep or switch off.
My relationship with Pops really suffered. I was constantly confused and wondered what had gone wrong, What I was doing wrong. It took me a long time to realise I had postnatal depression because I thought that I should find it hard to bond with my baby, not with the child I already have.
I love watching R smile at Pops. I love hearing her laugh at everything her big sister does. She adores her, they both adore each other.
I’ve spent the past year reminding Pops to be gentle and telling R off for things she’s done (but doesn’t understand) that upset Pops.
I’m so grateful for my girls and even though there are bad days they are worth it. They will always be worth it and I hope I show them how much they are loved by us all.
I’m looking forward to the next year and all that it will bring. Now R is walking it’s going to be interesting.
Have you got more than one child? What did you find the hardest or most rewarding part?
Until the next post,
Are and Pops.