I’ve written about how important I felt making mum friends / friends as adults was to me when I first had Pops but is it really that easy?
As a child friendships are pretty fickle. One day your BFFs and the next you’re not over some trivial reason and then back to best friends within days or even hours.
Then you get older and as a teen your friendships are EVERYTHING to you. You think they are the most important thing in the world and if you fall out life will never be the same again.
As a adult it all changes, we find it so difficult to make new friends and more importantly keep friends. Life is busy and we have other more important things to worry about. Is it that easy? Should we just accept that or put more effort in to sustain those relationships?
As we get older what happens to those friendships and what do we expect from our friends as adults?
We have those friends from school. The ones you never see but will always have in your life because you’ve known them for so long. Years can go by but when you meet up it is effortless and fun.
Online friends. Those ones you never see or may have never met but you speak to them all the time online. They become people you can rely on even though they are not there in real life.
The work friends. Those people who get you through your work day but not much more than that.
The school mum friends. The people you chat to at school drop off and pick up. You moan about the teachers and talk about the weather but it never really goes any deeper than that.
The die hard friends. These are the ones that are most cherished. The ones you feel you can be yourself around and that are there no matter what. They can be from any of the groups above but they’re a bit more special.
What do we expect from our friends as adults?
Will there always be one side more invested or doing all the work or are friendships supposed to be even?
Should you be able to vent your stresses or is it unfair to put that on the other person?
Should we let life get in the way or use it as an excuse? Is it important to put the effort in to keep those relationships going and is the effort worth it?#
How can we sustain those relationships with friends as adults?
Make some effort –
Let them know you’re thinking of them and ask them how they are. If your friend isn’t nearby then this is more important to do.
Make plans –
We’re busy and have loads to do already but if you don’t make the plans then you will never get round to seeing each other.
Listen as well as talk –
Your friends will not always want you to solve their problems, sometimes people just want to talk about how they feel with people they feel safe around. Be their safe place and listen to them.
Support them –
Ask how work is, celebrate the good times and encourage them to keep going.
What type of friends do you have and what are your tips on making and keeping friends as adults?
Until the next post.